right when i was starting to feel panicked.

lovely comparisons.

strange photos that make me smile.

[look at this one closely]

[hiroshi sugimoto]

elementary spanish.

recordar is the spanish verb to remember.

remembering is recording.

spanish is kind of speaking my heart language.

a beautiful revolution [.com]

a love wish:

If someday someone gave me 365 NYT print front page photos,

I would be smitten.

thankyou rose.

http://www.ryankellman.com/

one more. its going to be a week of this maybe.

i dont want to invite anyone else.
i dont want to prod.
i want someone to see that,
to see that that is a place where i am fully myself
that is a palce where i am created and refound
and sharing it isnt a favor
its something i cant do everyday.
its a place i must belong
am inside of
and to bring you there
i cant be anyone except for everything that i always was
i cant small talk or fake heart breaths
its the only place i breath that way
and sharing it is something i want you to take in with silent hands out the window and appreciative glances under your sunglasses
with your fingers tapping in the places i first loved these songs.

two ideas for tonight:

"I like having you around. I miss having you around."
"How can you still miss me when you've been without me for three times as long as we were together?"

I had to think about it for an awkward pause.
And then i realized,

"I missed you before i knew you."

There was and is always a place for you in my day.
And when it was filled with you, I was more me.
I go to bed groaping for that self.

Its harder now, because I know you exist.
Before I just dreamed that you were somewhere.

something that i love: happy days for others.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/21/zooey.deschanel.married/index.html

laughing out loud in a silent lab.

my favorite teacher from highschool just wrote me an email.

amongst other things, he said:

"I saw a t-shirt that said: "No one reads my blog"

I also attached a picture of Tiny Elvis the rat. . .

c. 1993
Before he died.
This find is remarkable.
This email is like Christmas."

[said photo]:

the new york times has smile days too..

the new york time's why we travel photos.

check out: nytimes.com/interactive/2009/09/19/travel/20090919-why-we-travel-reader-photos.html

summer loves:

1. black eyed susans
2. the ohio state fair
3. patios
4. freckles
5. "Im just trying to stay a human being, sitting in the sun eating ice cream" - mvb.
6. "Liking each other because it's a beautiful day & it seems like a waste of time to disagree about stuff the other one is refusing to change out of sheer stubbornness" -brian andreas.

npr songs of the day.

sunday mornings.

postsecret coffee time (always).
whiskeytown's avenues.
wtmj news stories.
having a long list of things to love.
consecutive smile days.

oh, and closing wolskis.

waking up to paste in bed.

"Like a crazed mix of Krishnas, Von Trapps,

and musical merry pranksters..."

[reason number 32 we love edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros]

I wanted to do something, anything,

I didn't know what to do,

So I did this.

This is my something.

[Jason Watt]

perfect saturday.

its the "oh. im not the only one. yes." share moment. its that second when i realize someone else has put my words into a sentence. its a sharing thing. its realizing someone else has the same secret loves. and they were brave enough to show you for a minute. thats what it is, its a sharing thing.

these cass bird secrets. we love a lot of the same. i know that feeling. the grass behind my ears and leaning back onto the handlebars of a boy who i adore. i know those secrets too. and thats the oh moment i love.

today, as clare would say, is a smileday.

im feeling direct.
yesterday i looked through undealtwith or unpeeled,

or unsomething photos of last year.

i think i looked at them for the first time.

its kind of like a warp.
sometimes its best to look back once you are long gone i think.

[i've been sitting on my bed for a long time eating cheerios]

I have flashlights in my life.
These alive secrets.
where i can whisper
"see guys" to all the me's that
get sad and stop hoping for
alive live live.

this fall is those. and im in love.
not with anyone.
with time.
falling in time is my favorite love.
and leads always to my best and most revisited
memories.

that two falls ago thing
is happening where my
grown up lists
[resumes, jobs, portfolios,
should-dos, applications,
lectures, volunteer shifts]
those are all falling away
for morning journals
and 7AM wholefoods lines
and pizza on the grill and jazz
and new friends in my places.

i think this sounds nice today:

the recipient of most of my love:

for sure the 1019A MVPs:

i can hear owen sweeping. perfect time to start the day.

i hope this time doesn't end, im in love.

its all beginning.

[thankyou christian joy]

tell the ones that need to know, we are headed north.

their harmonies during this part:
oh brooklyn, brooklyn, take me in. are you aware the shape i'm in?

thanks avett brothers. you guys are something to love everyday.

three things to love about bon iver:

OnMilwaukee.com: Did a break-up and illness have to do with your decision to move into reclusion, too?

Justin Vernon: Those were two of 100 things that contributed to my decision. Those things are easy to note, easy for people to understand, but it was more complicated than that. It was a combination of years and years of build-up that didn't go away and I needed to take the time to be completely honest with myself. I felt like I had drifted and I need to reattach.

OMC: Would you say you were depressed during the time spent in cabin?

JV: No. I was lonely and sad, yes, but I was happy to have changed my life. Depression, I think, comes from being in a place that you don't want to be, and I was happy to be away from where I had been. I was happy to be home.

justin vernon's new music recommendation:

and his new [milwaukee] project to be released on 9/22:


thankyou [http://onmilwaukee.com/music/articles/boniver2.html].

for the love of jangle:

[thankyou apple]


[to read: http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/09/the-call-of-the-wild-things-1.html]

cass bird under the tree by the lake.

strangely reminiscent right?

I simply looked at the world, not really prepared for anything.

saul leiter.

skinny love.

eating the equivalent of a cookie in free samples at stonecreek.

a writer to love at lunch on tuesday.

sean moeller could persuade me to listen to any band. i think his writing is something special.

for example:
"North Hills, California, band Dawes has made what is hand's down one of the finest records of 2009 and it is blooming with all kinds of reflections and bafflingly intelligent shreds of wisdom that could only come from four people so taken with the idea that we're only as strong as the company we keep, the person we go home to at night, every night and the family that we treasure regardless of any of its flaws. The songs that Taylor Goldsmith writes are ravaged by scars and bandages and the kind of golden and ripe sunshine that somehow manages to cancel out the scars and the bandages when the light is just right. He writes such sensational poetry that you find yourself getting caught up entirely in his wordsmith talents and the group's devilishly perfect harmonies that emboldens it all that it's absolutely enthralling. He makes a person want to quote an entire song, to live by it. His words change your breathing habits."

love is all i am.

A pretty appropriate song for a blog about loving things. And a beautiful video.

while in POSC 4431:

"Its easy to know what you're against; its an honor to know what you're for."

an old but wonderful sabrina ward harrison:

?Thickets of Undigested Experiences?.

(I found this to be the best description of this past year.
I came across the line last night in my trusted old favorite
Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton.)
.

what has your year been like?

Life has been so tangled and unknown,
and sometimes quite ?unfelt?..(if that could make any sense....)
so much change and uncertainty and slivers of thrill
and vast deserts of lonely not knowing
trying to wish and hope ..
.for our country.
...for Kerry.
and what about this hard to place letdown?!

...and then,
just woven into all of it has
been all the RUSHING,
scrambling...!!
not sure towards where?

..to stay above water?
or maybe just avoiding having to stand
quietly still in the the murky knee high lake of how life feels right now.

my 20?s have swooshed by..and I wish I?d danced more, played more, smooched more,
and sat in that great old afternoon sun longer..

that?s the plan for this year.

I wanna go to:
Australia, Spain, Mexico
and back to the cottage...

So this is me right now.
probably pretty unclear,
it?s just what came out..

Since we are not just sitting
side by side
and able to say it with eyes
and sideways glances...
it will come just like so.

Cat Power ?covers? album
is playing.
It?s Friday, 5pm
and the
blue sky
start
of night.

small list of things to love on monday:

world map shower curtains, the alterra morning buzz, dinner at a table.

dear c,

i have been reading about this place this week:and it reminded me of this place:

and then i thought of you.

love, m.

home.

when you were sitting in the backseat smokin' that cigarette-- the one you thought was your last? well, i was fallin' deeply deeply in love with you, but i didn't tell you 'til just now.

sitting outside and judging tomato based beverages.

also, seeing milwaukee's street look like this:

followed by naps and all-vegetable dinners.

advice from thailand:

"...and this notion of "feeling good". of course God wants you to "feel good", He wants you to enjoy life, that's why he created birds and ice cream and music and people so you can have friends."

girls i love.

parts of 'thirty two pages i like right now.'

thank you [http://www.flickr.com/photos/jon-edwards/]

receiving two emails ending in "happy wednesday" and small gifts:

1.

2. When I grow up, I want to remember that I always wanted to be about a thousand different things & one lifetime didn't seem nearly enough. When I grow up, I hope it's at the very end when it doesn't matter anymore anyway [b.andreas].

faces (and music) to love this morning.

thanks, time.

lyrics to love.

I meant what I said when I said I would settle down with you although I know it's not something that you were asking me to do.

And I know we are young but we won't always be, so marry me; lets not be that predictable young couple changing, moving on.

But I can tell by watching you that theres no chance of pushing through.
The odds are so against us; you know most young love it ends like this.

and classnotes. i love classnotes with amanda.

an email to love on a tuesday morning:

spooning.

[without motives]

"A better world has gotta start somewhere. Why not with you and me?"

"Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not.
Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end.
Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
There is only one serious question. And that is:
Who knows how to make love stay?"

a princess, an outlaw, the purpose of the moon, and the problem with redheads. the perfect sort-of love story for a lazy sunny day.

to listen to while eating cereal:

all summer this song has made me smile shamelessly:

coming home.

more on these later.

[wildflowers + the circus +

trachtenburg family slideshow players

+ ira glass in milwaukee]

this is my mama picking wildflowers with her best friend:

lady bird johnson said "Almost every person, from childhood on, has been touched by the untamed beauty of wildflowers."

i believe that.

i also believe that about the beauty of cirque de soleil.

but that can come later.

i am new at this blogging.

this is my bedroom:

it is certainly a place that i love.

secrets and details.

secrets and details make me happy.

everyday there are small things that make me smile

sometimes i write them down.

sometimes i peel them off of streetposts and keep them in my pockets.

but now i am going t start sharing them with you. here.

because there are things to love today.

today, i love this:

[friend]: i found the video i was talking about!

besides being a sweet video, i think this video is really important unintentionally. i feel like our generation is starting to solidify a niche in the music world, and this video represents it well. it's definitely an imitation of old things (revival-esque), but unique in its own way. perfect example are the plaid shirts and beards with hipster neon shades. passionate music people are forming groups, finding empty spaces, make-shift instruments, playing wherever and whenever. emphasis on acoustic, playing to play, etc etc. which i think is REALLY cool and makes me REALLY excited. it is something i would love to be a part of in some way

[me]: that concert last night felt like that. like our generation. a funny mix of "hippie revival" and gutter punks and john bellucci. you know? NOT the 60s. NOT trying to be them. a little mix of the past and the present. and some milwaukee cigarette smoke in my hair.

there is something exciting happening. in milwaukee. with our generation. maybe its because im twenty one, maybe its becasue my friend is observant, but i feel like we are finding ourselves. and i love that.

check out: