beautiful descriptions of faith and purpose:

I take pen and paper out and write:

Words of divine consciousness: moral exaltation; lasting feelings of elevation, elation, joy; a quickening of the moral sense, which strikes one as more important than an intellectual understanding of things; an alignment of the universe along moral lines, not intellectual ones; a realization that the founding principle of existence is what we call love, which works itself out sometimes not clearly, not cleanly, not immediately, nonetheless ineluctably.

I pause. What of God's silence? I think it over. I add:

An intellect confounded yet a trusting sense of presence and of ultimate purpose.

- Yann Martel in The Life of Pi

'An intellect confounded yet a trusting sense of presence and of ultimate purpose.' Isn't that it after all? I don't understand what I am here for; my purpose, my career, my future (for God's sake what I should do next week). I cant conceptualize the breadth of my purpose, the universe, the grand scheme; but I feel a sense of presence, there is something within me greater than me. I feel connected, I know I am more than skin and bones, more than survival. I know there is a purpose. I trust it. And what I have is my intellect, so although I am confounded, I will keep seeking knowledge. I will keep trying to find out why it is that I am here, how I fit into all this. Although I may not be able to answer all the questions, I will keep questioning and growing and itching and wondering; I have to believe that that is how I will grow closer to God and to his purpose for me.

I am reminded of Thomas Merton's Prayer for Discernment:

O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think
I am following Your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe
That the desire to please You
Does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire
In all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything
Apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefor I will trust You always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for You are ever with me,
And You will never leave me
To make my journey alone.

I have no idea where I am going; Nor do I really know myself; But I believe that my desire to please You does in fact please You; And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I'm confused. But I trust this presence I feel in me. I know I have a purpose. But I can't figure out what it is. I am trying. I am searching. I am learning. I believe that this effort has to be bringing me closer to God; to my purpose. I don't feel focused all the time, but I am trying to put this effort into everything that I am doing. Please help me stay focused God. That's about it, right?